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Denouement

by Matthew Connor

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    Comes in a jacket with photographs by Nicole Elkins.

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1.
there was fury, there was sound yeah, they got me in a gown put my birthday on a tag around my wrist they took my clothes, they took my shoes locked 'em in another room so i couldn't leave 'til i had been dismissed sunday morning at the faulkner blowing out my candles with the doctor who kept making me remember my name he said, "i just want you to be well" well, as far as i can tell i'll never look into a mirror quite the same so won't you save a seat for me on the early morning train that goes whistling dixie and glory hallelujah through the prairies and the plains sparks go flying from the wheels even when we're sitting still sitting in the belly of the whale today so won't you save a seat for me on the early morning train she said, "i never really loved you love's not something that i do" she said, "boy, i think you read me all wrong you were trying to find a moral in the story i was writing with my ankles and my fists and my tongue" i want to wrap my arms around her want to spend my life beside her lord, i've never hated anyone so hard i want to be furiously combined 'til i can't tell her rib from mine and it hurts to have to pull them apart so won't you save a seat for me on the early morning train that goes whistling dixie and glory hallelujah through the prairies and the plains sparks go flying from the wheels even when we're standing still and when she's finally got me running away so won't you save a seat for me on the early morning train a broken helmet, one right shoe were all that was left of you by the time the reporters figured out your name i want to study french again buy some summer clothes, make another friend but i can't pretend april's ever gonna be the same so won't you save a seat for me on the early morning train that goes whistling dixie and glory hallelujah through the prairies and the plains sparks go flying from the wheels even when we're standing still and we're all just standing still these days so won't you save a seat for me on the early morning train
2.
Scheherazade 04:24
scheherazade packed up the car made her way to new mexico a clarinet case in her lap, and a map with a scribbled address where to go i first saw her in the lobby of a motel in st. louis she was shaking a vending machine she said, "i told that old innkeeper i'm a pretty light sleeper still my window is facing the street so let's get out of here you and i could make our escape come on, buy me a drink before you have a chance to think it's a mistake" and the moon was half perfect and the bar was half asleep her every sigh was a sirocco sweeping the bottles on the floor like tumbleweeds yes, she was the stuff of nightmares she was the lady of my dreams and the night, and the night and the night is always older than it seems she said, "i had a king who was gorgeous and mean and he loved me like nobody could he made me his wife on the edge of a knife and i got out while the getting was good i got his wallet, got his car and yeah, i've made it pretty far without ever looking behind me i got the police on my trail won't be the first i've seen a jail" i said, "girl, i think you lie to your diary" scheherazade, she said, "tell me, does it matter to you if nothing of the story but the moral is true?" yes, she was the stuff of nightmares she was the lady of my dreams and the night, and the night and the night is always older than it seems she said, "i'll sing you to sleep if you promise to keep your back to me all through the night" in the morning she was gone, probably still had my jacket on but it ain't cold now, so i guess it's all right it's useless to think, even more so to speak of the part i may play in her fables now i've my own tale to tell 'bout a girl, a motel and the bracelets she left on the table
3.
Ellis Island 04:43
she left her name on ellis island now there's no telling who she was he tipped his hat and paid her fare when she didn't have enough to board the bus the courtship was quick and the timing was right his ship was setting sail on the fifth of july he found a chaplain in the city and he took her for his bride while the taxicab waited outside and i, i've never been so graceful and i, i've never cared for you so tastefully he found himself a heart of darkness a savage stillness in the noise she wrote a letter every week and he read each one aloud to all the boys then just as two hands spin around on a clock he threw his arms around her at the end of the dock he said, "i'll never leave again, whether you like it or not" no, he never left her side and i, i've never been so patient and i, i've never cared for you so blamelessly so you don't have to call me, baby turn off that phone drive yourself on over here you know that i'll be home fold yourself in two and place your body next to mine it's not a poem, not a prayer but it's not a crime
4.
the tide is counting down to midnight now it's all out of our control i throw a photograph in the canal and watch as it drifts off in a helpless barcarolle venice really may be sinking though it sure doesn't feel that way tonight the boats are holding fast to a day that's long since passed and to an evening floating further out of sight i left you on the bridge of sighs and i thought once more of our last dance how you stood on my feet when you didn't know the steps but you never really stood a chance my brother stares out of the window and there's no telling what he sees the morning will be quieter in padova where the stars have all been swept by the breeze sitting on the steps of the station with a book and a bottle of champagne toasting to the end of nothing in particular and the beginning of more of the same i left you on the bridge of sighs and i thought once more of our last dance how you stood on my feet when you didn't know the steps but you never really stood a chance sospiri
5.
i didn't even bother sleeping i was in the air before the sun nobody knew that i was leaving and nobody's gonna notice that i'm gone nobody waiting on the other side just a baggage carousel and an expensive taxi ride i've never felt like i was running just standing still while the world went by so if you never could catch up to me then perhaps it's because you never tried i pulled all the punches when push came to shove no, you never really knew what i was capable of i think that you enjoy your power and you never want to be outdone it's a high that's not from taking a pill but from knowing that you've got one well baby, i've been high, and baby, i've been low but lately i'm just tired and trying not to let it show i say a prayer every night from the foot of whatever bed i'm in i ain't hoping for some voice from the clouds no, i don't hope for much of anything the planets in their courses, the continental drift i just hope i settle soon before the plates begin to shift i'd like to think that there's some point to this that every ending's just another twist of fate i'd like to think time's never wasted and that love is never a mistake but you weren't a lesson and you weren't a phase just a lonely inkblot across my very barest page a wave of whispers through the greyhound the foggy factories of midnight delaware i'd like to tell you about everything though i guess you had to be there but i've made my choices so i can't complain when i'm standing in a crowd and hearing only your name i've been missing someone i ain't got no business missing i've been kissing someone hasn't been paying attention to the damage she's done just by being anyone but you so i climbed up to the top and i stood out on a ledge but there ain't no pot of gold at the rainbow's edge i've seen a lot of things and i've come a long way and i know it's gonna catch up to me someday so i climbed up to the top and i stood out on a ledge but there ain't no pot of gold at the rainbow's edge i've been a lot of things and i've come a long way and i know it's gonna catch up to me someday
6.
street names, phone numbers, days of the week the restaurant is closed, there's nothing in the house to eat and still you promise that savannah is pretty in the spring but i don't want to go to georgia and i don't really want to stay here and i don't want to let you out of my sight for even just a second you haven't yet unpacked the boxes in the basement and you're chasing a cherokee rose and i'm sending all my money in a bottle down the mississippi river just to see how far it goes you bought a postcard of a town you'd never heard of at a rest stop and you left it on the restroom sink you couldn't think of where to send it to and you had georgia on your mind, among other things the sunday morning girls on the avenue lined up like rows of papier-mâché i know that look that they give you, i used to look at you that way but there's plenty to be done around here while you're gone the screen door needs oil, there are frames to be hung and you call me from a pay phone and it's all i have left just to fill up that booth with the sound of my breath and i can never be quiet enough so it's no use in crying and it's no use in trying to change your mind you're going to get whatever you want you're going to get whatever you want you're going to get whatever you want you're going to get whatever you want

credits

released March 25, 2013

All songs written, performed, and recorded by Matthew Connor.
Brass, string, and woodwind arrangements by Matthew Connor.

Additional instruments:
Karl Doty: upright bass
Beth Holub: violin and viola
"Scheherazade" singalong: Richard Allen, Patrick Baird, Carlo Baldini, Cammy Enaharo, Zachary Friedrich, Wes & Joe Martin, Cameron Stephens, and Julia Suggs.

Mixed by Jeremy Page.
Mastered by Kevin Blackler.

Photographs by Nicole Elkins.
Design by Joshua Fraser.

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Matthew Connor Boston, Massachusetts

Matthew Connor is a crooner for the 21st century, writing heart-wrenching songs that combine the windswept ideals of classic American balladry with stark depictions of modern-day alienation. The Boston-based Connor has a haunting voice that conjures ghosts of past heartbreaks, and he pairs it with spectral guitars that recall country tearjerkers and alt-pop brooding.

—Maura Johnston
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