1. |
Midnight Blue
04:24
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the first raindrop hits the window
there’s a low and thrumming ache
all the lights are flashing yellow
and it’s more than i can take
there’s laughter in the street
from up here it all sounds canned
too tired to fall asleep
feeling older than i am
the world is bathed in midnight blue
i’m still alive, and somewhere so are you
i’m talking to myself, i got nothing to say
been that way for years, what’s another day
another drink or two of midnight blue
just around the other corner
there’s the dive i used to haunt
haven’t been there in forever
hope they’re keeping my seat warm
oh, i’ve hardly left this house
yeah, i’ve hardly left my head
i bet they’re mopping the floors right now
and tomorrow they’ll trash the place again
the world is bathed in midnight blue
i’m still alive, and somewhere so are you
i’m talking to myself, i got nothing to say
been that way for years, what’s another day
another drink or two of midnight blue
the season changes and i’m mostly just the same
oh, i swear he had your eyes
i’m still losing at the same old games
still laying down the same old lies
after all this time
the world is bathed in midnight blue
i’m still alive, and somewhere so are you
i’m talking to myself, i got nothing to say
been that way for years, what’s another day
another drink or two of midnight blue
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2. |
Somewhere Down There
04:51
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the stars won't shine on me tonight
the moon it just won't help me to see
i'm parked up here at the top of a hill
i got no place else to be
down below is the train, hear her sad refrain
as she sings across the land
"i don't know who i am"
somewhere down there is a little red house
it silently is buried in snow
and there's a man who is walking there now
down a street i used to know
and up here's just the trees in the winter white breeze
the train is just a lady in blue
oh, i don't know what do
i used to know just who i was
back when i loved you
on second thought, well, maybe not
but i never needed to
'cause i've lived my life 'round who i'm not
that used to work just fine for me
i'm not my mother, i'm not my father
at least, i try not to be
then one day i woke up, found that wasn't enough
who i'm not, that ain't worth a damn
'cause i don't know who i am
i used to know just who i was
back when i loved you
on second thought, well, maybe not
but i never, i never needed to
'cause everywhere i used to go
all i saw was open doors
and every time i turned around
there would be one more
yes, but now it seems that they're all closing
and every night i hear one more slam
'cause i don't know who i am
no, i don't know who i am
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3. |
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how is july already over?
the fan's still in the window
there's a car parked on the shoulder
there's a cloud hanging low
and you say, "what do you want more than anything?"
and i say, "for you to already know"
tell me, how is july already over?
how do the nights move so slow?
how is the breeze in san francisco?
how far are we from maine?
no, i ain't packing up my overcoat
i'm tired of the rain
and you say, "how much further 'til we get there?"
and i say, "just keep your eyes on the road"
tell me, how is the breeze in san francisco?
how do the nights move so slow?
how long have i been dreaming
'bout rain and birds in europe?
the paper's lined up on the table
stained by the ring left from your mug
and you say, "i just get so, so tired sometimes"
and i say, "i think it's time for us to go"
tell me, how long have i been dreaming?
how do the nights move so slow?
how does the light break all about your face?
i kick a stone off of the sidewalk
a pedicab waits just across the way
the lights just turned on in the coffee shop
and you say, "did you really not see this coming?"
and i say, "i was pretending not to look"
tell me, how does that light break all about your face?
i can't believe just how long this morning took
how is july already over?
how am i still under your hand?
i rather enjoyed the fireworks
and the days and dreams of sand
and you say, "my heart can be so so cold sometimes"
and i say, "tell me something i don't know"
tell me, how is july already over?
how do the nights move so slow?
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4. |
Money Goes
02:53
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knew i ruined your day
so i bought you a rose
should’ve been a bouquet
don’t know where the money goes
tried to take you to dance
saw the cover and froze
had to cancel those plans
don’t know where the money goes
someday you and i won’t have to worry ‘bout a thing
we’ll be living large as kings
someday i won’t carry all this shame, shame, shame
i’ll make it up to you
i’ll make myself a name
i could visit a shrink
tell her all of my woes
wouldn’t fix anything
don’t know where the money goes
darling, turn out the light
bring this mess to a close
let’s not argue tonight
don’t know where the money goes
oh, let’s not fight tonight
don’t know where the money goes
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5. |
Smoke Signals
03:50
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drapes on the windows and paint on the walls
jackets on a rack at the end of the hall
the hot water runs slowly when it runs at all
maybe i could get a second job
i haven't paid the bill, they're gonna turn the phone off
well, it don't really ring so much these days
and you know where to find me if you got something to say
just send up a smoke signal, spread it across the sky
say it if you want to see me sometime
you won't have to tell me twice
tell me twice
i wonder if your eyes are still full of plans
and poetry nobody really understands
well, i thought we had a plan, thought we had it made
but you're the one who went, i guess, and i'm the one who stayed
so send up a smoke signal, spread it across the sky
say it if you want to see me sometime
you won't have to tell me twice
tell me twice
passports and hobbies and hospital lobbies
and paperwork hanging in files
linen on lines and interstate signs
tollbooths and subway turnstiles
the days drag by and yet the years fly
the daguerreotypes on your wall
and still i don't feel like i've felt anything at all
send up a smoke signal, spread it across the sky
say it if you want to see me sometime
you won't have to tell me twice
tell me twice
oh, send up your smoke signal right as the day breaks
fill the whole Grand Canyon with fire if that's what it takes
what it takes
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6. |
Limestone and Yew
04:49
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limestone and yew, and the things that i do
when the nights seem to go on for days
dogwood and snow, all the places i go
but without ever going away
the songs that i fight and the tears that i write
on the wings of some dead seraphim
shadow and white, and the words i recite:
i wasn't good enough for him.
nimbus and pine and the waltz of the rhine
how he loved when i spoke of the country
but virginia is grey, and the things that i say
seem to shed every shred of their beauty
travertine walls, promenades, and crestfalls
and a cup that's been filled past the brim
tractor and plow, and it's clear to me now:
i wasn't good enough for him.
the lights wash away in the river
the planes wash away in the clouds
it floods and it drains and then all that remains
is a question of what to do now
granite and plume, and the bitter perfume
of the ladies who curse at the rain
primrose and haze, and the endless cafes
where the day stops to wait for a train
a copse on the hill, and the dust on the sill
and a diary torn limb from limb
limestone and yew, and it's suddenly true:
i wasn't good enough for him.
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7. |
Farewell Motel
02:55
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i know a place where the lovers go
we went there once not long ago
and now you’re gone i’ll go there once again
i’ll say farewell to our little motel
it was just one night and we slept like hell
though i swear i’d never seen you look at me the way that you did then
and now i’ll never see you again
over there is where we tossed that old umbrella
as you shook the raindrops from your hair
there’s the sink where you took a drink of water
and laughing, you collapsed into that very chair
i could close my eyes and cross the room and never stumble
i could close my eyes and swear i felt you there
over there is the corner where i kissed you
how i’ve missed you, and tonight you look as lovely as a prayer
it’s too much, it’s too much
i’m doing it again
you’re not here, you’re not here
and you haven’t been
one more night in the farewell motel alone
and in the morning i’ll go home, home, home
darling, i would go to such great lengths
to once again smell your shampoo upon these sheets
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8. |
Veronique, Waiting
04:34
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she's melting into you like the ice in your drink
says, "it's so hot in here i can't hear myself think
won't you walk a lady home?"
steam is pouring from the grates
and she's making you wait while she says her goodbyes
and then into the night you are thrown
she observes how you pause when she asks
"do i have to have an invitation to kiss you?"
then she adds, "i don't believe in love"
and relief spreads across your face like wet tissue
but you don't believe anything
you don't believe when she says
"take all the time you need, take it all"
and there's no one at all to translate
veronique, waiting
negotiating just how this night is going to end
she throws her clothes on the fire and her arms in the air
and never have you ever been so high and scared
every candle in the room reaches up towards the ceiling
one last desperate grasp before being extinguished
the valets are dancing on the hoods of the cars
while the church bells flush the flocks out from the bars
and she's laid a trap, and she's left the tape running
until the springs are slowing, relaxing, releasing
and she says, "is there someone else?"
and you say, "i don't know
well
no"
but you don't believe anything
you don't believe when she says
"take all you want from me, take it all"
and all that it does is complicate
veronique, waiting
negotiating just how this night is going to end
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9. |
Paper Trail
06:34
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drained the account for a good night's sleep
a breakfast buffet and a little tv
and one last chance to disappear into the blue
maybe one last chance to have one last chance with you
oh, he cleans up well and he treats me right
and he takes me out just about every saturday night
and not a single word that i've said to him has been true
i gave up on holding those words for you
and the distance hasn't made my heart forget
so i'm hoping maybe time will do the trick
oh, i got a loan and i got a lease
i got a car title and i got a degree
i got so many piles of papers i don't even know what to do
yeah, i've paved a paper trail but it didn't lead me any further from you
and now my friends got kids and my friends got wives
my friends got some sense of structure to their lives
and i guess i'd like those things but really, i don't have a clue
i've spent so much time wanting nothing else but you
and the distance hasn't made my heart forget
so i'm hoping maybe time will do the trick
though i know i'm not getting any younger
and i know no one else can ease this hunger
though he tries
well, i bought a beer at the airport bar
curled up in the back of the rental car
and i closed my eyes but it did not hide the view
of jet trails and junctions stretching out a million miles before you
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10. |
After The Show
05:11
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after the show the fiddler stops and drops her bow
in the gauzy glow
after the show rye on the rocks splash of pernod
and away we go
to some party in the valley where the leading ladies are
in a city night too bright to see a star
while you’re drinking straight into the dawn
i’m sleeping with my makeup on
it’s darker now than you could ever know
there’s nothing much to see after the show
i’m overdressed, got all the cards close to my chest
still i’m a mess
i’m not like you, can’t do that breezy thing you do
it feels untrue
see, i’m the kind of man who puts his pants on one leg at a time
you’re the kind who doesn’t give a crying dime
and though i stiffen up my upper lip
i’m knee deep in the worst of it
and when the lights go up i’m all alone
there’s garbage in the aisles after the show
oh darling, it’s been ages since the stages where we met
and even so you hardly know me yet
and i still don’t know who i am
but i’ve got my name, and when i’m gone it might remain
but who’s to say?
it’s all a game, a play of silver cellophane
a fleeting flame
from the onyx room to the lion’s den
the battle cry of the bleeding pen
you loved me once so why not once again?
but then it’s just a business, kid, that’s how it goes
’til the final curtain call it’s all a show
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11. |
Bring It Home
03:37
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i draw the curtains and i draw the bath
and i’m alone at last with the aftermath
i dream i’m drowning and i dream i turn to foam
and sometimes i can’t help but bring it home
he says he understands and i’m sure he does
but that don’t stop the sinking in my guts
it’s hard to shake it once it makes it in so low
and sometimes i can’t help but bring it home
the charioteer at the end of day leads the horses to sleep somewhere out of the way
they make their bed in the dusk, the dust, and clay
it lingers in the air, catches on the breath
it hollows out a hole ’til there’s nothing left
and you can’t fight it, only ride it ’til it’s done
and sometimes you can’t help but bring it home
the charioteer with the golden reins sings the horses to sleep as he brushes their manes
but even he can’t keep the dreams away
i give him every single part of me
except there’s just one part i can’t quite reach
i want to share it though i bear it on my own
and sometimes i can’t help but bring it home
and sometimes i can’t help but bring it home
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Matthew Connor Boston, Massachusetts
Matthew Connor is a crooner for the 21st century, writing heart-wrenching songs that combine the windswept ideals of classic
American balladry with stark depictions of modern-day alienation. The Boston-based Connor has a haunting voice that conjures ghosts of past heartbreaks, and he pairs it with spectral guitars that recall country tearjerkers and alt-pop brooding.
—Maura Johnston
... more
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